Saying Yes to everyone is a Joy Stealer & Strategies to say NO

joy

joi/

noun

1. 1.

   a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.

   "tears of joy"

   synonyms:

   delight, great pleasure, joyfulness, jubilation, triumph,  exultation,rejoicing, happiness, gladness, glee,  exhilaration, exuberance, elation,euphoria, bliss, ecstasy, rapture;

   thief

   THēf/

   noun

   1. a person who steals another person's property, especially by stealth and without using force or violence.

      synonyms:

      robber, burglar, housebreaker, cat burglar, rustler, shoplifter, pickpocket,purse snatcher, sneak thief, mugger

2. 
   

 There are things in my life that I am coming to realize are stealing my joy in certain areas. Also, adding unneeded stress. Recognizing them is the first step  to trying to change them. I must admit, I'm probably the Queen of procrastination because I am juggling too many things at once all because I have a hard time saying no to people. It becomes over whelming because I don't want to disappoint them. Will they like me any less if I say no? Probably not. Am I just a wet noodle and get walked all over... sadly, sometimes I am. I want to be that nice, loving person that tries to help people and  bless others. When I am constantly giving, giving, giving, where does that leave time for myself or even my sanity? Truth is, it doesn't. My motors are turning and turning and get burnt out.  They start smoking, getting hot and then yup, just die. ( I don't smoke if that's what you thought I meant!) That is when I procrastinate. I'm burnt out and running at a slow speed so I have no energy for the things that I love. The things that I love like my family, church, crafting and blogging get neglected. I would rather lay around, catch up on TV and veg. (Veg is my slang term for laying on the couch and eating snacks) Even when I have no energy and I am trying to relax on the couch and just breath, my mind isn't resting. That is a HUGE problem. The waves of thoughts and guilt wash over me of the things I should be accomplishing. For example, sign orders, jewelry orders, making new glam prints for my etsy shop, and pouring my creativity into my blog. The more I think about them, the more I dread them and get overwhelmed.

I've recognized my "saying YES problem" far long ago. It has gotten brought up at bible studies, a good friend sending me texts about it, my husband commenting and my own thoughts. Really, how hard is it to say no? Well, it's just a word. It consists of 2 letters. A "N" and an "O." You just speak it. "No." There, I said it. Ok, easier said typing on the computer than to someone's face or text. I want to be the person that saves the day or makes someone happy.

 Here is a perfect example of my life.
"Hey Teryn can you make this said pallet sign for me and I need it next week." - friend
"Ok, how big... ect. ect.?"- me
All while I start texting back I am thinking of the millions things I already have going on.
2 other signs, need to blog about this and that, kids have Christmas programs, OK, I have a doctors appointment this day, oh crud, I need to go to Lowe's and get more supplies. Shoot better check the kids homework, I need to go grocery shopping, laundry is piling up again, I need to clean the carpets, God, please forgive me for procrastinating time with you more, OK, I better clean up my side of the garage so I can make these signs and get organized again..... YIKES...
"OK, yes, I'll do it!"-me
I don't know how I am going to accomplish it all within the week but I will stretch my limit and cut some people with my attitude because I am under stress.
NOT COOL.
I put myself under that stress for what? No reason. All because I am being nice.

What if I said no? I would actually feel guilty. I would let someone down. Not come through for them.Will they get over it? 99% sure. They would probably understand.

So, for 2015, I want to say NO more. I want to get priorities straight.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matt 11:28-30).

When saying NO more, my burden will be lighter. I will find more peace and joy in the little things instead of stressing about deadlines.

So how am I going to muster up the courage to say no more? 

Here are my strategies:

Know what stresses you out so you know when to say no.

For me, saying no can be linked to self worth and not wanting to feel like someone will like me less if I choose not to do things with them or for them. The only opinion we should focus on is that of God's. He is the only one that truly matters. We shouldn't be living to please man but to please God. We should love and help people like Jesus has called us to do but we shouldn't neglect ourselves while doing it,.

This goes with know your limits. Write down what you will or will not do this month. What you are able to make space for on your calendar and what isn't worth it. Then, stick to your goals and boundaries. If I say I won't take on more than 5 orders this month then I have to hold myself accountable because I know that if I am trying to be nice I will then be running around stressed out and grumpy.

A cute planner can motivate you to use it. Write down everything you need to do that month including doc appts, kids schedules, grocery shopping, errands, to do lists and goals. Then once everything is written out for the month you are to then see how busy you will be and then you will know your limits! Also, staying organized helps eliminate stress in your life too. 

These strategies are going to help me tackle saying no more. I hope they can help you too. Let me know what you think and if you too always say YES at your expense! Our time on earth is valuable so choose things in life that are worth your time and thoughts. We don't want to look back on life and regret saying yes all the time and not enjoying the small things.